a stroll in the park...to hell: July 2007

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

haahahahahaaa

Sitting here at a library in Gorham, NH I am saddened.

First, I am being charged $$ for this service... at a LIBRARY!!!
Second, this library does not let me get to my family at the Shitizens
Third, no hobowars either.

Life is now over.

Well I've made it over the majority of the white mountains, and I'm relatively still intact. My heal turned out to be just fine... a sprain is all. Its still bugging the crap outta me but I'll live.... maybe.

So the adventure count has begun with:
1 moose shit cocktail (ingredients below)
2 mouse bites
1 sprained ankle
many weak minded and feeble tourists, whom prefer to backpack the right way carrying at least 70 lbs in their packs, and love to share their advice and elite knowledge and wisdom of the back country to all who will hear.
1 belly full of delicious and aged scotch mmm... and free...

Word of advise:
If you're really thirsty and find water runoff as your only source to drink from, be ready to face the reality of where that said water originates.
So early on in the trip (on the north side of Moosilauke coming up Mt. Garfield) I was getting a bit dry, as in I was nearly out of water and I was trying to save the last gulp for when I actually found a source. My head was pounding, my lips were already starting to crack and I was over all in a relatively crummy mood. So I'm going up this ridge and I happen upon this group of day hikers that are just packing up a picnic they had just partaken in. So as I walk by this guy, I'll call him Flap Jack, Flap Jack stands up and shouts to me,"How's it going?!" I reply by saying "eh, alright I guess. I looking forward to getting some water..." Right when I say this Flap Jack looks down and I notice what this guy is glancing at... 2 full gallon jugs of delicious water. Well, after that little glance Flap Jack looks up at me, hesitates, then says to me, "I hear that there's plenty of water on the trail you'll surely find something." As I'm standing there, I can't believe what I'm hearing. Was this fool trying to help? I was speechless to say the least. Well after standing there in shock from hearing that crap spew from this worms mouth I politely nod and say "Gee, thanks..." I then turn and leave.

A bit further down the trail, still waterless, I stumble upon some water runoff on the trail. Its looking pretty nasty and cloudy, but I was just too thirsty. I fill up my 2 bottles and treat the water with twice the amount of instructed chemicals and top it off with some lemonade powder. I let it sit for a half hour as opposed to the normal 15 I usually wait just to make sure any giarrdia cyst is killed, and then I drink. I down an entire quart right there, and oh the sweet relief. Now fully refreshed I stand up and resume walking. Not 20 feet up the trail I find something that changed my life forever. The source of the water.... Lord have mercy on us all! I come to the top of the hill and I see some bog boards going over this puddle (where the water was coming from) and I look down into this puddle, or I should say over this puddle. What is it I see? I see Mounds upon mounds of moose shit. In this puddle and piling up out of the puddle I see more moose shit than actual water. What it looked like was that this was the restroom for the local moose population. I was absolutely filled with glee. For I just had just consumed 1 qt of moose shit tea. mmmmmmm........

so for a refreashing and delicious treat:
1qt of water/moose pellets brewing for oh 1 week.
15 drops of aqua mira
about 3 cups of lemonade mix
and 1 big smile.

Love,
Dent Burntrap.

Monday, July 16, 2007

AHHHHHH!!!

stupid trail.

Upon arrival at the hiker's welcome hostel I notice 2 things.

1. The royal tenenbaums is on the tele. This same movie was playing last year when I departed. Oddly enough I had seen it 2 other times at other hostels as well.

2. Not 10 minutes after my arrival we all hear a huge crash next to the sliding door (we thought it was from upstairs at first) We finally look outside and see that a garbage can's missing. Bears. We run outside to check out the scene and I notice a trail from the trash can and at the end of this trail is a set of glowing eyes. Mount Cameron and I, Dent Burntrap, decide to investigate further. We walked closer to the eyes and we here a low growl and the eyes started to move up and down and closer and closer. We squealed and ran flailing our arms.

So the day after this (about 4 days ago) I get on the trial and everything is looking good.
I hit the first ascent. Mooselocke (spelling?) and I realize clearly that I am not ready for this. My legs almost immediately give out and I'm just floundering up this stupid hill. 3 miles to ascend 4000 feet. Sick.

Well as a result of this little ascent and many other little guys my legs have now died. And consequentially on my descent into Franconia Notch On a rain soaked trail with slick granite and licker roots my weakened legs slipped down a root, and my ankle gave way to a rock jutting out from the trail. Upon impact My ankle a.popped b. I screamed c. I thrashed about a bit.

Unfortunately I still had like 5 miles or so to get into town on what might be a broken ankle (i'm still not sure all I know is that it hurts and I can't stand up straight). So Now I'm here in a horrid little town called lincoln, NH Where beer is $5 a bottle and meals are a minimum of 12. However on a brighter note I'm staying at this rad free hiker hostile where the caretaker was literally blown up by a msr stove a few years back then went into a 8 month coma. He's this rad hippy that received a rad settlement from MSR and whalla! New hostile. One down side is the mice in his garage that like to sleep with me. I don't really like getting bit in the chest when I'm trying to sleep. Oh well free is free eh? until next time....

Dent Burntrap.

Monday, July 09, 2007

finally...

So it is time to depart... I should have left 2 days ago, but did anyone actually think I was going to stick to that schedule? Unlikely.

Trip in an outline:

A: (day 1) Tonight:Drive like hell to Buffalo, NY. Ms. Beth awaits

B: (day 3) Depart Buffalo arrive in Glencliff, NH Hikerswelcome? indeed they are. So says Fat Chap.

C: (day4-?) walk walk walk.

D: Stop walking. Katahdin...

E: PEI? maybe.. Baltimore? if before aug 10.

F: (Aug 22) ZOMG!!! 60 70 Ш357 \/1261|\|14 4|\||) |<1¢|< 17 Ш17# <077363>|=v¢|<5.> So in the future I'l;l try to get to this as much as I possibly can, and hopefully in the future (aug) I'll have some recordings to put up that will without a doubt alter your Worldview and overall outlook on life. Well byebye all and God bless. Dent Burntrap. Oh I forgot... Fascist Frank- You will pay in blood. STEWART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIP.